Here’s a dirty secret: I don’t ACTUALLY know it all. In my year reading the encyclopedia, I began to fathom just how much information there is in the world. Everyone knows there’s an ocean of knowledge out there, but you don’t realize quite how big that ocean is until you try to drink it cup by cup.
The good part: You don’t need to know it all to be a know-it-all. You just have to know one key fact about every topic under the sun. Here, a handy guide to any conversation:
Fact: French philosopher René Descartes had a fetish for cross-eyed women.
Fact: George Bernard Shaw sat for a very early nude photo in the pose of Rodin’s Thinker.
Fact: Bayer aspirin invented heroin.
Fact: Humphrey Bogart invented the phrase “Tennis anyone?” when he was a Broadway actor playing rich guys.
Fact: Elephant copulation lasts twenty seconds.
Fact: Edgar Allan Poe married his thirteen-year-old first cousin, making him the Jerry Lee Lewis of his day.
Fact: Touchdowns used to be worth two points and field goals were five points.
Fact: George Washington’s false teeth were not made of wood; they were made of human teeth and elephant ivory.